#35 (Fuck) Dopamine

We're voluntarily breaking our own brains

We're systematically destroying the biological reward system that makes effort feel worthwhile. And we're doing it on purpose.

Dopamine drives motivation. It gets released when you anticipate a reward, when you work toward a goal, when you overcome a challenge. The satisfaction comes not from getting what you want, but from earning it through effort and time.

When we spend time chopping vegetables, understanding how flavors work together, timing everything perfectly, our brain releases dopamine throughout that process. The meal tastes better because our reward system recognizes the investment.

But I can get biryani in 8 minutes now. Why the fuck would I spend an hour cooking when I can just tap my phone?

When we struggle to find the right words, cross out sentences, reshape ideas until they finally capture what we're trying to say, our dopamine system works as evolution intended. The writing feels meaningful because meaning comes from struggle.

But AI can write this blog post in 30 seconds. Why would I waste my weekend wrestling with ideas when a machine can do it better?

When we pick up a pencil and fail to draw what we see, then try again, and again, slowly getting better, our brain rewards the incremental progress that separates us from every other species on the planet.

But I can type "beautiful sunset over mountains" and get a masterpiece instantly. Why would I spend years learning to draw badly when AI can create perfectly?

Because we've created a world where effort gets treated like a disease to be cured.

Waiting 30 minutes for food feels unbearable. Spending hours on a blog post seems wasteful when AI can shit one out in seconds. Learning to draw becomes pointless when you can just describe what you want and get a perfect image.

And what the fuck do we get back? Our brains stop rewarding effort because we've trained them that effort gets you nowhere.

Activities that should bring deep satisfaction now feel tedious and unrewarding. We've lost access to the neurochemical foundation of human fulfillment.

The pattern stays the same, and it stays stupid.

We identify a problem that requires patience, skill, or delayed gratification, then build technology to eliminate the waiting.

But the waiting was the feature. The effort was the entire point. We look at history and act all superior. How could those idiots not see that overproducing food wouldn't solve starvation? That economic growth wouldn't eliminate inequality? That fast fashion wouldn't provide adequate clothing for everyone? How could they miss that building more houses wouldn't end homelessness?

Yet here we are, making the exact same mistake with even less excuse. We think eliminating human effort will somehow make humans happier. That replacing 10 humans with one algorithm will solve problems created by systems that already treat humans as disposable. That cutting everything into fractions of time will give us more time for what matters.

But what if the time spent was what mattered?

I've spent years trying to understand why nothing felt rewarding, why effort felt impossible, why I couldn't access the satisfaction that seemed to come naturally to others. Turns out, I was born with a dopamine system that doesn't work properly.

But everyone else? You're voluntarily breaking yours. I need medication to feel what you could feel naturally if you stopped training your brain that effort gets you nowhere.

I was born with this dysfunction. You're choosing it.